The month of March has been tiring and filled with emotions. Work has been on full throttle. We released a new research report, and my boss decided to take the month off for travel. This resulted in me handling the work of two people. But this is not the major stressor in any way, shape, or form. The biggest thing that happened last month was my father’s spine surgery.

My dad has been the happiest man in my life. He has his “uncle” moments, and him and I can’t always talk politics, but other than that, he has an immense opportunist look to life. He looks at everything as an opportunity to learn and move forward. In circa 2005, he was among the first people to join the then-new movement of working out in a gym. That year has always been noted as the start of gym life when normal people also work out on treadmills and lift weights in India. He loved the gym and saw gains almost immediately. His biggest measure of success was his ability to do very heavy back squats. This is when a barbell is kept on the back of your neck where (hopefully) your shoulder “trap” muscles stabilize and take the majority of the weight as compared to your spine while you crouch down to the ground with hopes to beef up muscles in your thighs. He used to lift upwards of 110 kilos— a record weight I have only lifted twice. In 2005, this weight was something my 38-year-old father would do weekly. In one such attempt, something went awry, and he heard a little click.

That click turned out to be a herniated disk in his neck that left him numb in one of his arms. In 2005, I was in grade five, and very soon, I had an advanced (for my age) knowledge of the inner workings of the spine and the central nervous system. It took close to 6 months for my dad to get back into shape, including surgery. It left the family shell-shocked. Being a child then, I didn’t help much. I was more of a liability (and rightfully so), but it helped my coping skills. It was the last time I had a high score in math just because I probably channeled my stress into my studies. The incident was so bad that we call it “the accident.”

Eighteen years later, my father heard a similar click in his lower back. And the same cycle began. This time it resulted in a limp and immense pain. But unlike last time, we knew more about what happened and how to help him. A week into the symptoms, dad was getting ready for an operation. It was stressful, emotional, and worse; it happened to a man who didn’t deserve it. My father cried in my arms because of pain and helplessness. And while I could stay strong for him, this month has felt like I was back in 2005. While I wish this hadn’t happened to him, I am glad I could help him through this journey and wash away some of that feeling of being a liability. It’s crazy to think how my parents are also inching toward their next step as I move into the next stage of my life (married, moving out, etc.). Our roles are changing, and I think about the responsibility that comes with it every day. As the guilt of being a liability wanes, the future guilt of unaddressed responsibility seems to be creeping in. Life is such a fascinating feedback loop that you only seem to recognize these little junctures. I don’t know if I always think about it, and I wonder if you have. But it’s something to consider if you have read this far ahead.

It’s clear to say that March had some shit days. And on shit days, the best thing to do is stop finding ways to fix the shit and find ways to bring in a high point. You don’t want mundane tasks like a bowel movement or an episode of The Office to be a high point. It would be best if you had a sandwich. And this is where a Chicken salad sandwich comes to the rescue. This sandwich is made possible by “ready-to-eat” chicken. These are found almost everywhere, and while there are many brands, I like to go for the smoked chicken breast by Green Chic. They are a local butcher shop in Delhi NCR, but there are alternatives to this everywhere. Worse case: poach a chicken breast in a salt and pepper brine. The soft chicken, and the crispiness of the apples (a great alternative to celery because I rarely find good celery around me), complement me so well. The chicken salad is a lovely treat and can be a high point on low days. I hope you try this recipe, and as always, happy cooking.

Glimpses from the week

Ingredients

1 apple, diced

1/2 onion, diced

A handful of basil, chiffonade

250 grams of chicken breast cooked and diced

5-6 olives chopped fine

1 tablespoon of mayonnaise

1 tablespoon of yogurt

2 teaspoons of mustard

1 teaspoon of red wine vinegar (lemon juice works too)

1/2 teaspoon of red chilli powder

Salt to taste

4 slices of white bread

Method

Once everything is chopped up, its a matter of mixing it all together and serving it on soft white bread. There is no wrong way to do it!